Bad joke corner (2 Viewers)

Lets all sing together

New Member

• Jul 22, 2011

• #771

I can't believe it. Me and my wife were sitting watching TV when the founder of Apple just walked into the house and took all our Mr Sheen!

Fucking Jobs, coming over here and stealing our polish.

 

skybluedan

Well-Known Member

• Jul 23, 2011

• #772

Shark,lobster,crab,scouser

which is the odd one out?

The shark because the other 3 wear shelsuits and pinch like fuck........................

 

Tommy Pitera

New Member

• Jul 27, 2011

• #773

I couldn't believe it when I was informed that Lily Allen voted Conservative last year. Until I realised she'd never been into labour.

 

Ernie Machin

New Member

• Jul 27, 2011

• #774

Nasty. :guitar2:

 

rob9872

Well-Known Member

• Jul 27, 2011

• #775

Tommy you're a c**t

 

We'll_live_and_die

Super Moderator

• Jul 27, 2011

• #776

Tommy and Kuklinsky are the same person?

 

Tommy Pitera

New Member

• Jul 27, 2011

• #777

I see rob is the forum ambassador of taste and decency, if he doesn't agree with what is said it's wrong.

 

Tommy Pitera

New Member

• Jul 27, 2011

• #778

Oh and for the record if lily wants to stop her babies falling out before they're ready she should lay off the booze and sniff. But I guess we should feel sympathy for these ill disciplined wretches.

 

rob9872

Well-Known Member

• Jul 27, 2011

• #779

Absolutely not. The first to joke on many subjects close to the limit, but taklking about thet death of an unborn child is abhorrent, vile, disgusting - you choose.

My wife miscarried with our first at a amuch earlier stage than Lily Allen and it was devestating, so god knows what she went through. She may be fair game to take the mick out of, no problem with that but children is pretty low. I can only assume that you're not a fathe ryourself and if you are then you should know better.

 

Kuklinski

New Member

• Jul 27, 2011

• #780

We are all allowed our say Tommy, as long as we say the right things. God help those with the mental strength to think for themselves or dare to have a different opinion.

 

We'll_live_and_die

Super Moderator

• Jul 27, 2011

• #781

This is a joke thread not an argument thread. You'll see 77 pages of funnies before you and Rob started the tittle tattle. Please take it elsewhere and preserve this thread for funnies.

 

rob9872

Well-Known Member

• Jul 27, 2011

• #782

Tommy Pitera said:

Oh and for the record if lily wants to stop her babies falling out before they're ready she should lay off the booze and sniff. But I guess we should feel sympathy for these ill disciplined wretches.

Click to expand...

You know this for a fact do you? And you assume she was doing it during pregnancy? Did you speak with her, read it in the sun or just make your own assumptions based on the celebrity lifestyle?

 

Tommy Pitera

New Member

• Jul 27, 2011

• #783

I usually find that when celebs admit they are pill popping sniff heads with a very strong taste for booze proof enough.

 

rob9872

Well-Known Member

• Jul 27, 2011

• #784

Kuklinski said:

We are all allowed our say Tommy, as long as we say the right things. God help those with the mental strength to think for themselves or dare to have a different opinion.

Click to expand...

You seem obsessed with this thing about opinions Kulk. Did nobody listen to you in the playground? It's getting boring now, but one last time ... nobody is disagreeing with you having an opinion or even the opinion itself. Here we're discussing the view that talking about dead unborn babies is unacceptable. Surely even you can agree with this?

ANyhow as pointed out this is a joke thread, so like the other thread you're still embroiled in , I'll duck out now and leave you all to it. have a good day.

 

Kuklinski

New Member

• Jul 27, 2011

• #785

I think Pitera's joke about Allen's miscarriage crossed the line of humour and decency. But, she is a self confessed drinker, drug taker and smoker, so not entirely blameless is she?

What do you call a Welshman with a stick up his arse?

A taffy apple.

 

rob9872

Well-Known Member

• Jul 27, 2011

• #786

Much better

 

Tommy Pitera

New Member

• Jul 27, 2011

• #787

What's the difference between Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty? About a week hopefully.

 

rob9872

Well-Known Member

• Jul 27, 2011

• #788

In case you're wondering, not me btw ^

I wouldn't hide ebhind a new alias - I assume someone has set this acc up purely to post that joke?

 

Nick

Administrator

• Jul 27, 2011

• #789

I think they must have. Must be bored ha!

 

Tommy Pitera

New Member

• Jul 27, 2011

• #790

It never fails to amaze me when people can't even spell the name of someone they are trying to take the piss out of even when it's written down in front of them.

Absolute dope

 

Tommy Pitera

New Member

• Jul 27, 2011

• #791

I just made a hotel out of small cheesy biscuits.

It's not exactly the ritz.


How's that?? Acceptable?

 

Tommy Pitera

New Member

• Jul 27, 2011

• #792

Amy Winehouse meets Lady Diana at the pearly gates. Amy says to her "why is your halo black?" Diana replies "you must still be off your face darling, it's a fucking steering wheel".

 

Ernie Machin

New Member

• Jul 27, 2011

• #793

She was in the back though, so I doubt whether she hit the steering wheel at all. You haven't thought this through, Thomas.

 

Tommy Pitera

New Member

• Jul 27, 2011

• #794

Hmmm good point. Although the lack of seatbelt and the massive impact could easily have forced her and her whorish head through to the front of the merc and into the wheel.

 

Ernie Machin

New Member

• Jul 27, 2011

• #795

The very idea that the vacant tart made it to heaven is where this story falls down. I bet Prince Phillip has got some great gags about her though.

 

Tommy Pitera

New Member

• Jul 27, 2011

• #796

Prince Phillip is a legend, I'm sure he was wheeling the gags out at William and kates wedding

 

Nick

Administrator

• Jul 27, 2011

• #797

 

bamalamafizzfazz

New Member

• Jul 28, 2011

• #798

Stop with the bickering!!

This is one of my favourite threads on this forum.

Back on topic, im going to share my favourite ever joke.




Q. Why did the girl fall off the swing?...

A. Because she had no arms*


*DISCLAIMER: apologies to anybody on this forum or any other who has or does or wil ever have known someone who has lost any limbs. This is a horrible thing to happen to anyone and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

 

Ernie Machin

New Member

• Jul 28, 2011

• #799

Andrew Lloyd Webber walks in to Burger King and asks for two whoppers.


"You're good looking and your musicals are great" is the reply.

 

cov_russell

Facebook User

• Jul 29, 2011

• #800

Officials in Norway have revised the death toll from the terrorist attacks down from 93 to 76.

They must have a fucking good health service over there.

 

Tommy Pitera

New Member

• Jul 29, 2011

• #801

My ex-wife says it was my obsession with horoscopes that Taurus apart.

 

CovKingChris

Facebook User

• Jul 29, 2011

• #802

A pirate went in to the doctors with the steering wheel of the boat stuck to his crotch

The doctor said "you do know you have a steering wheel stuck to your crotch

To which the pirate replied "arghhh. It's drivin' me nuts!"

 

CovKingChris

Facebook User

• Jul 29, 2011

• #803

What do two snails do when they get in a fight?

They slug it out.

 

Coventry La La La

New Member

• Jul 31, 2011

• #804

I'm on a quest around the world to find Bigfoot.

I'd originally set out to find cheap petrol, but I decided to keep my goals realistic.

 

H

Hcut PUSB

New Member

• Jul 31, 2011

• #805

My missus packed her bags and left cos of my fetish of inserting pasta up her arse.

I'm feeling cannelloni now.