Sky Blue Pete
Well-Known Member
Bless you mate
Bless you mateWhen my mum passed away after initially being diagnosed with arthritis then turned out to be terminal cancer it shook me to the core, after she passed I tried to remain strong for my dad and sister, I am big brother that is always strong, 3 weeks later my brother in law, a manic depressive, hung himself I then remained strong for my sister in law, not having grieved I lasted around 3 months and depression hit me, never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I could be so weak and a pussy, I only had mild depression, every time now i have an ache or pain it worries me to the point that it creates so much tension i feel theres not much point to life thats what depression is trying to live with that fucker every time it rears its ugly fucking head,,, I feel better now that I have said it and as I type this I sit here with tears in my eyes, if you think thats attention seeking well fuck you Rb1992
Ok. I am always as truthful as I can be. But try to keep personal stuff off here. But here we go.Perhaps not, and personally I believe that it is very much real. Although, there are plenty of doubters about still - one quick search of "depression" on Twitter is enough to tell you that.
However, I do think it is fair to have a reasoned debate on how depression is defined and diagnosed. Where is that line between feeling fed up or down for a prolonged period of time, and depression?
I'm extremely sorry for your losses and resulting effects on your mental health. I've said time and again, I am not disputing that depression exists.Thanks Riyad i never wrote this to try and grab attention my mum passed 16 years ago and I still struggle at times, I was just giving my own experience as an example of how simple things can change massively to someone
Ok. I am always as truthful as I can be. But try to keep personal stuff off here. But here we go.
I have always known depression to be for soft people. They just need to man up. I saw many things through my life that one person would suffer 'depression' from just one event. I even coped when someone lost half of his head when the others went to bits. God rest his soul. Lovely lad.
I just put each occurrence into a locker in the back of my head. Not a problem. Then bang. It got me. Had one occurrence too many. Not cried a tear since I was about 8. Suddenly lost a grip on my emotions. I can't cope. Been like it for nearly 2 years. I go to work. But I rarely do work. Don't know when I am going to lose it next for no reason. To many I am just an alias on the net. I have a psychiatrist. Not sure if I will ever recover. Might have to give up work. Still in my 40's.
On a good day you would never imagine that there is anything wrong with me. On a bad day you won't see me. But I try to look normal for my family. Not having a bad day today. Only feel like shit. But good enough to look normal. If you saw the size of me you would think that I have nothing to worry about. I don't. But my mind doesn't agree.
You shouldn't take the piss out of what you don't know. And I hope you never find out.
Sorry if I have been too straight to the point. But that is the normal me. There is still a normal me hidden somewhere.
Totally understand mate. Hope you're ok.Ok. I am always as truthful as I can be. But try to keep personal stuff off here. But here we go.
I have always known depression to be for soft people. They just need to man up. I saw many things through my life that one person would suffer 'depression' from just one event. I even coped when someone lost half of his head when the others went to bits. God rest his soul. Lovely lad.
I just put each occurrence into a locker in the back of my head. Not a problem. Then bang. It got me. Had one occurrence too many. Not cried a tear since I was about 8. Suddenly lost a grip on my emotions. I can't cope. Been like it for nearly 2 years. I go to work. But I rarely do work. Don't know when I am going to lose it next for no reason. To many I am just an alias on the net. I have a psychiatrist. Not sure if I will ever recover. Might have to give up work. Still in my 40's.
On a good day you would never imagine that there is anything wrong with me. On a bad day you won't see me. But I try to look normal for my family. Not having a bad day today. Only feel like shit. But good enough to look normal. If you saw the size of me you would think that I have nothing to worry about. I don't. But my mind doesn't agree.
You shouldn't take the piss out of what you don't know. And I hope you never find out.
Sorry if I have been too straight to the point. But that is the normal me. There is still a normal me hidden somewhere.
True. The conciliatory stuff is all a little too late in the day. I think at least an apology is in order. that first post was indeed incendiary and it was definitely questioning of the condition and of Kirkland on a personal level too.Your first post in the thread is fully deserving of any insults and abuse, it's completely incendiary no matter how you subsequently try to rationalise it.
I am not disputing that depression exists.
Just a reminder of a direct quote from your first postI am aware depression is real and exists.
I think it all boils down to that question though - is depression real? Or is he just saying this to make a few bob now he's packed in playing?
Exactly how I feel and its been 16 years even trying to cope at times is dreadful because of the negative thoughts in your head, try to ignore them people say, wow what a great idea I think how do I do that, up to you they say, yeah right, Chin up Astute I would like to say it gets less frequent but As you say you never know when the demons coming back for no apparent reason , thoughts are with you and everyone who has thisOk. I am always as truthful as I can be. But try to keep personal stuff off here. But here we go.
I have always known depression to be for soft people. They just need to man up. I saw many things through my life that one person would suffer 'depression' from just one event. I even coped when someone lost half of his head when the others went to bits. God rest his soul. Lovely lad.
I just put each occurrence into a locker in the back of my head. Not a problem. Then bang. It got me. Had one occurrence too many. Not cried a tear since I was about 8. Suddenly lost a grip on my emotions. I can't cope. Been like it for nearly 2 years. I go to work. But I rarely do work. Don't know when I am going to lose it next for no reason. To many I am just an alias on the net. I have a psychiatrist. Not sure if I will ever recover. Might have to give up work. Still in my 40's.
On a good day you would never imagine that there is anything wrong with me. On a bad day you won't see me. But I try to look normal for my family. Not having a bad day today. Only feel like shit. But good enough to look normal. If you saw the size of me you would think that I have nothing to worry about. I don't. But my mind doesn't agree.
You shouldn't take the piss out of what you don't know. And I hope you never find out.
Sorry if I have been too straight to the point. But that is the normal me. There is still a normal me hidden somewhere.
I also think there is a build up and then it becomes like a pressure keg.Exactly how I feel and its been 16 years even trying to cope at times is dreadful because of the negative thoughts in your head, try to ignore them people say, wow what a great idea I think how do I do that, up to you they say, yeah right, Chin up Astute I would like to say it gets less frequent but As you say you never know when the demons coming back for no apparent reason , thoughts are with you and everyone who has this
I bottled it up for 18 months. I hid myself away when I felt a moment coming on. But one day at work a boss was behind me. I was about to have a moment but could only go where he was. Had no choice. He saw what was happening. It took a lot of weight off me. Am now getting help. Looking for the trigger point in me. But there might not be one. It could be irrational fear. I walk around with pain in my stomach. I expect things to go wrong. I always used ro think that it would never happen to me. It happened to me. My defence is gone.Otis its like a double edged sword if you bottle it it gets worse and if you tell some people then they think you are looking for sympathy
In my last job I eventually became a supervisor one of my guys was suffering ocd just changing electricity meters which in turn brought depression, me in my job I done a home visit on him and he looked dreadful, because of what I had gone through I helped him and told him of my own experience with it and it helped him greatly although he did have to stop working because he had kept it secret too long, a massive shame because he was a great guy. He has a great supporting wife and he put his time to build a garage extension which I have to say was first class quality work considering he was a meter fixer if anyone anywhere reads this and feels bad about anything themselves you can pm me and I will gladly try to help you and one thing I will guarantee it would not be relayed to anyone elseThanks all.
Mine isn't as bad as most. Mine is situation driven. Yes it takes over your life. That is why I come on here all silly hours of the night. Lack of sleep is a problem. But I have to try and act normal.
My problem is work related. Had an accident 14th Feb last year. A machine failed and crushed my left arm. Nobody knew I was there. Lost my voice trying to get help. Couldn't open my phone as had grease on my other hand. Only had my phone on me as both grandkids were in intensive care. Eventually got my phone to work and got help. If I wasn't as big as I am I would have lost my arm minimum.
Now I am shit scared of machinery. I work with machinery. It is all I know. But it takes your life over. I used to think that I was invincible. Have never lost a fight in my life in or out of the ring where a weapon hasn't been used. Always had good health. Got a great family. Didn't even panic when we found our youngest daughter when she was two when she had stopped breathing and had started going blue in the face. The wife and eldest son were first aid trained and couldn't do anything. I was listening to sky blue player at the end of a game and heard the screams from my wife. I just calmly walked in and resuscitated her and kept her going until the ambulance arrived. Made me feel heartless as I didn't panic. Good job I didn't though.
Now I can panic at the slightest thing. I panic when logically I know I am safe. It is a strange feeling. I try and tell myself that I am safe. But I refuse to listen. I have lost control of my own mind. Most of the physical problems are sorted. Had severe nerve damage but operations have given me most of the use of my hand back. But the mind?
I think it has made me a better person though. I now think more of others. I now am more interested in what is best for me. I am more considerate of other people. You can't look at other people and think all is well. If you see me on a good day you would think that I don't have a problem in the world. Those close to me see me on my bad days.
Take care those who know what it is like. It isn't an easy life like I always thought.
Yep, get that, but not everyone is 'some people' and there are some of us who DO understand and won't think you are just looking for sympathy.Otis its like a double edged sword if you bottle it it gets worse and if you tell some people then they think you are looking for sympathy
I salute you, Astute, like Stevefloyd you have exposed yourself and shared. We are not indestructiblle and we are vulnerable.Ok. I am always as truthful as I can be. But try to keep personal stuff off here. But here we go.
I have always known depression to be for soft people. They just need to man up. I saw many things through my life that one person would suffer 'depression' from just one event. I even coped when someone lost half of his head when the others went to bits. God rest his soul. Lovely lad.
I just put each occurrence into a locker in the back of my head. Not a problem. Then bang. It got me. Had one occurrence too many. Not cried a tear since I was about 8. Suddenly lost a grip on my emotions. I can't cope. Been like it for nearly 2 years. I go to work. But I rarely do work. Don't know when I am going to lose it next for no reason. To many I am just an alias on the net. I have a psychiatrist. Not sure if I will ever recover. Might have to give up work. Still in my 40's.
On a good day you would never imagine that there is anything wrong with me. On a bad day you won't see me. But I try to look normal for my family. Not having a bad day today. Only feel like shit. But good enough to look normal. If you saw the size of me you would think that I have nothing to worry about. I don't. But my mind doesn't agree.
You shouldn't take the piss out of what you don't know. And I hope you never find out.
Sorry if I have been too straight to the point. But that is the normal me. There is still a normal me hidden somewhere.
Yep, we see a broken leg or arm, or someone in a wheelchair and immediately see something is wrong.I salute you, Astute, like Stevefloyd you have exposed yourself and shared. We are not indestructiblle and we are vulnerable.
Somehow it is much easier to have an illness or disease than admit to a mental issue.
It's not ours but to anybody on here with an issue you'll never walk alone.
Otis I wasnt labelling everyone there are definitely some people who definitely understand but its very very hard to reach out at times even though you want it to stop because of feeling inadequate, before this hit me I didnt really understand but I certainly do now and wished I had of understood peolle earlier, my Mum includedYep, get that, but not everyone is 'some people' and there are some of us who DO understand and won't think you are just looking for sympathy.
Some of us are happy to listen and do want to help.
Otis I wasnt labelling everyone there are definitely some people who definitely understand but its very very hard to reach out at times even though you want it to stop because of feeling inadequate, before this hit me I didnt really understand but I certainly do now and wished I had of understood peolle earlier, my Mum included
Perhaps not, and personally I believe that it is very much real. Although, there are plenty of doubters about still - one quick search of "depression" on Twitter is enough to tell you that.
However, I do think it is fair to have a reasoned debate on how depression is defined and diagnosed. Where is that line between feeling fed up or down for a prolonged period of time, and depression?
Well yep, people will say they have the flu when all they have is a cold.you've actually touched on something here that I've thought for a long time.
People who are down or feeling a bit melancholy will say, "oh, I'm depressed", when what they're experiencing is nothing like depression.
I think it leads a lot of people to think that that is all people with depression are going through and gives them a total misunderstanding of the condition.
It would be like having a cold or a bug and saying "oh, I've got cancer", it's just semantics but I think it does give people the wrong idea.
I've never had depression, but I've had people close to me who have and I know what they've been through is something very dark that I never want to experience.
Thanks all.
Mine isn't as bad as most. Mine is situation driven. Yes it takes over your life. That is why I come on here all silly hours of the night. Lack of sleep is a problem. But I have to try and act normal.
My problem is work related. Had an accident 14th Feb last year. A machine failed and crushed my left arm. Nobody knew I was there. Lost my voice trying to get help. Couldn't open my phone as had grease on my other hand. Only had my phone on me as both grandkids were in intensive care. Eventually got my phone to work and got help. If I wasn't as big as I am I would have lost my arm minimum.
Now I am shit scared of machinery. I work with machinery. It is all I know. But it takes your life over. I used to think that I was invincible. Have never lost a fight in my life in or out of the ring where a weapon hasn't been used. Always had good health. Got a great family. Didn't even panic when we found our youngest daughter when she was two when she had stopped breathing and had started going blue in the face. The wife and eldest son were first aid trained and couldn't do anything. I was listening to sky blue player at the end of a game and heard the screams from my wife. I just calmly walked in and resuscitated her and kept her going until the ambulance arrived. Made me feel heartless as I didn't panic. Good job I didn't though.
Now I can panic at the slightest thing. I panic when logically I know I am safe. It is a strange feeling. I try and tell myself that I am safe. But I refuse to listen. I have lost control of my own mind. Most of the physical problems are sorted. Had severe nerve damage but operations have given me most of the use of my hand back. But the mind?
I think it has made me a better person though. I now think more of others. I now am more interested in what is best for not just me. I am more considerate of other people. You can't look at other people and think all is well. If you see me on a good day you would think that I don't have a problem in the world. Those close to me see me on my bad days.
Take care those who know what it is like. It isn't an easy life like I always thought.
Do they need a guinea pig for the tests?This is quite encouraging. Found it in today's news on the BBC News website.
Magic mushrooms 'reset' depressed brain
The hardest thing for me was admitting that I had a problem. I didn't want to admit to going soft. Not even to myself.I am pretty sure I speak for Astute as well but it wasnt easy for me to 'come out' as it was but thank you all means a lot
Again thank you and all the best mateOk. I am always as truthful as I can be. But try to keep personal stuff off here. But here we go.
I have always known depression to be for soft people. They just need to man up. I saw many things through my life that one person would suffer 'depression' from just one event. I even coped when someone lost half of his head when the others went to bits. God rest his soul. Lovely lad.
I just put each occurrence into a locker in the back of my head. Not a problem. Then bang. It got me. Had one occurrence too many. Not cried a tear since I was about 8. Suddenly lost a grip on my emotions. I can't cope. Been like it for nearly 2 years. I go to work. But I rarely do work. Don't know when I am going to lose it next for no reason. To many I am just an alias on the net. I have a psychiatrist. Not sure if I will ever recover. Might have to give up work. Still in my 40's.
On a good day you would never imagine that there is anything wrong with me. On a bad day you won't see me. But I try to look normal for my family. Not having a bad day today. Only feel like shit. But good enough to look normal. If you saw the size of me you would think that I have nothing to worry about. I don't. But my mind doesn't agree.
You shouldn't take the piss out of what you don't know. And I hope you never find out.
Sorry if I have been too straight to the point. But that is the normal me. There is still a normal me hidden somewhere.
Can fully understand that. Also men seen crying can be deemed a weakness. I've cried loads of times.The hardest thing for me was admitting that I had a problem. I didn't want to admit to going soft. Not even to myself.
The hardest thing for me was admitting that I had a problem. I didn't want to admit to going soft. Not even to myself.
Can fully understand that. Also men seen crying can be deemed a weakness. I've cried loads of times.
Especially over the last 8 or 9 seasons.
I still find it hard now to admit to certain people not even my son knows or my dad because I dont want to worry anyone my best mate knows I struggle at times but not to the full extent, its not easy to think you're a wuss even though deep down I know I am not its a struggle I have to try and cope with, I tried counselling but put in a brave face to them so as not to appear weak, stupid I know but its not easy to let go with emotion in front of people
I think that is a part of my problem. My job is hard on your body. That is why most of us retire by the time we are 60. I work with people having knee and hip replacements in their 30's. But physically I am in full health other than my accident injury. This weakness came from nowhere. I was invincible. The only time I have had time off work was injuring myself. Had done 7 years at work without a day off ill.thing is, we all have things go wrong with us, joints. ligaments and illnesses and ailments.
It should be expected that there's going to be issues with the most overworked organ in the body sometimes. Very unenlightened for any stigma to be attached to mental health issues and it's great that you and others feel able to post about it on here.
Hopefully they'll advance treatments in the coming years so people don't have to suffer like you have.
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