I've been inspired to create a sketch called 'Keane as mustard' based around the exploits of DI Bobby Keane, an inspector who ignores the obvious (and eventual) perpetrator to follow unlikely or ludicrous leads.
PC: Guv, I've made a breakthrough in that case of the old couple that were hacked to death with an axe!
Keane: Oh, Vic and Tim. Terrible tragedy. So what you got PC Gonmad?
PC: Well guv, I've found out that the guy that lives opposite is using a new identity.
Keane: Really?
PC: Yeah. His real name's Edward Dunnitt and he did 20 years in prison for killing three old people with an axe after they'd changed their wills to make him the sole beneficiary. Guess who's the beneficiary this time?
Keane: Is that all you've got?
PC: No. We've got CCTV footage of Dunnit buying an axe two days before the murder!
Keane: So you're telling me E. Dunnitt?
PC: Yes guv.
Keane:Come on PC Gonmad, that's making some massive jumps.
PC: How so?
Keane: Well, if he's done it three times before why would he do it again? Doesn't add up.
PC: But guv!
Keane: No, sorry son but you're going up a blind alley with that one. Now where's that lady from Help the Aged that found the bodies right now?
PC: You mean Patsy? Patsy Dogooder? She's usually at the local homeless shelter this time of day giving out meals or help sort out the food bank.
Keane: Yeah, her. Get down there and bring her in. 'm gonna squeeze her like a lemon cos she's definitely hiding something.
PC: Like what?
Keane: Come on son. She found the bodies AND reported them to the police. Nah, too clean. I don't buy it.
PC: But she's got an alibi. She was in a supermarket five miles away. A dozen people and the store CCTV confirm she was there at the time of the murders.
Keane: Exactly. Bloody convenient don't you think. Now go and bring her in - I'm gonna put that Dogooder bitch in prison if it's the last thing I do!
*Similarities to any individuals living, dead or online are entirely coincidental*